CHANGES IN RELATIONSHIPS

Is it normal to change in a relationship?

You can navigate change in your relationship. And you and your partner can support each other, and become even stronger through it. 

Change is normal in all aspects of life, and especially in relationships. And though you know that, it doesn’t make the changes feel easier as they come.

Change can be overwhelming, and sometimes scary. When your relationship faces change, you want to overcome it as a unit. But so often, it can drive couples apart, against their wishes.

Depending on the scale of the change, your desire to work through it as a couple may be easier or harder. There are a multitude of changes you may undergo, but some will commonly affect many couples.


Personal changes in relationships

Personal changes in relationships can have a large variety in impact. On a smaller scale, you and your partner may naturally change as people. Over time, you will both develop new hobbies, habits, or opinions.

There is nothing wrong with that, of course. But your partner may be irritated if you start forgetting to take out the trash. And you might grow annoyed with your partner constantly whistling as they walk through the house. And these small frustrations can build on each other.

The personal changes may also be more life-altering. Maybe at the start of the relationship, you were both in agreement that you didn’t want kids. But now, your partner has changed their mind.

Maybe you have had a child already, but are totally unsure how to navigate the ways your relationship has shifted with your new addition.

Or maybe you have a great job offer for a position that would require you both to move. Your partner loves their current job, and the life you’ve built where you are. And you wonder how to bridge the gap so that everyone is happy.


Circumstantial changes in relationships - How do you deal with changes in a relationship?

Changes may also be out of your control as a couple. One of you could lose your job. Unexpected health crises may arise. And financial issues could occur as a result of those, or independently.

And there will even be changes within your relationship that are out of your control. Love naturally goes through phases:

1

Honeymoon phase

2

Deeper, serious relationship

3

Disenchantment

4

True, lasting love

Every relationship will naturally go through some form of these changes. Our very brain chemistry evolves as we navigate long-term relationships. The giddy excitement of the honeymoon phase can’t last forever. Eventually, most couples will get to a point where little things annoy them, and disagreements feel insurmountable.

But getting through that phase of disenchantment will allow you to achieve the strong, stable relationship you want. Of course, that’s easier said than done. Which is why many couples decide to try therapy.


Couples counseling

In counseling, you and your partner will be regarded equally. Even if only one partner is undergoing a specific change, it will affect both of you as a unit. We will help you come to terms with all changes you may experience as a couple. 

We will also guide discussions, and you will receive tools to create open dialogue in the future. It’s important to never let issues fester. You may be contemplating big life changes, like moving for work or having children. We will help you honestly communicate how you will be affected separately and as a couple.

In those conversations, the goal is not to confront your partner. Instead, you want to kindly bring up the things that are bothering you, and get them out in the open. Having a third party in those discussions can be greatly helpful. And we can help you reach a compromise, or find a new, mutually agreed upon path.

You will learn to look at change in a new light. It’s often unpredictable and frightening, but sometimes change can be a gift. Regardless, navigating the process of change in a relationship is difficult. But we will help you work through it as a couple. Set up an appointment with us. 

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